The 2012 NBA Draft is apparently the “Year of the Brow,” a phrase that, as far as I know, hasn't yet been trademarked by Anthony Davis. He'd better hurry.
Davis, the projected No.1 pick out of the University of Kentucky's freshman academy, has applied to trademark “Fear the Brow” and “Raise the Brow” in reference to his connected eyebrows.
"I don't want anyone to try to grow a 'unibrow' because of me and then try to make money off of it," Davis told CNBC.
How, exactly, does one grow a unibrow if one doesn't already have one and, subsequently, how could this be a moneymaker? I've yet to hear NBA analysts explain this, but if money can be made off eyebrows, I'd like to trademark “Don't Fear Male Pattern Baldness.” Let the residuals flow.
My point? This NBA Draft lacks drama. This draft lacks the anticipation that accompanied the decision on whether Portland should choose Greg Oden or Kevin Durant. (They guessed wrong.) It lacks the mystery of whether Detroit should take Darko Milicic, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh or Dwyane Wade. (Three of four turned into great players. The Pistons took the other one.)
Tonight's draft has all the drama of a unibrow growing in. If there is drama, it will come with a trade involving Dwight Howard.
This draft won't reveal its true nature for three or four years. Then we'll know whether Kansas' Thomas Robinson is overrated because he played in the national title game. We'll know whether Michael Kidd-Gilchrist is the best of the Kentucky U19 team. (I think he'll challenge Davis for rookie of the year.)
We'll learn whether Duke's Austin Rivers is a superstar or just another Duke bust who happens to have a famous dad.
We'll find out if Damian Lillard, a player few casual sports fans know, can score in the league the way he did while dominating at Weber State.
The NBA Draft, like all drafts, is about projections. Because the players are so young, and not just the ones from Kentucky, potential trumps accomplishment in most cases. The only college senior regularly mentioned among the top 15 picks is North Carolina's Tyler Zeller. He wouldn't be there if he wasn't 7-feet tall. And, even then, he's projected outside the Top 10.
That's not to say the draft doesn't have some interesting facets to it, within small pockets.
It'll be fun to see who the past season's contenders take, with the Celtics picking at No.21 and 22, the Pacers picking at No.26, the Heat at No.27, the Thunder at No.28 and the Bulls at No. 29.
The Celtics need some rebuilding work with their core players aging and Ray Allen possibly leaving. Might they land one of the Kentucky guys, perhaps Marquis Teague or Terrence Jones?
Many mock drafts have the Pacers taking Michigan State's Draymond Green with their pick. I like Green as a college player, but I'm not sure how he fits in the NBA.
The Heat, according to some, could take the first foreign player in the draft, shooting guard Evan Fournier of France. Or maybe they'll dip into the Kentucky well for Doron Lamb.
Of local interest, where will Purdue's Robbie Hummel land? He's unlikely to go in the first round. His knee problems and perceived lack of quickness might push him out of the second round, too. I'd take a chance on him after the first half of the first round because you're getting size, shooting touch and immeasurable degrees of heart.
After watching Mike Miller thrive in the Finals for the Heat, couldn't there be a space on the right team for Hummel? I think there could be. I think there should be.
Jared Sullinger's fate is also fascinating. He would have been a possible lottery pick a year ago. His stock has taken a slip-and-slide ride this season. I'd be hesitant to take him anywhere before the second half of the first round, if that.
If I was the Thunder, incidentally, and I could trade the No.28 pick for a veteran with a couple years left, I'd make the deal. Oklahoma City has Derek Fisher, but could use another wizened voice in the locker room. Physically, the team isn't lacking much.
So it's the Year of the Brow, but with a minimal potential for eyebrow raising.
Incidentally, Davis' only current endorsement is a draft-night deal with Sprint's NBA Android application. So there's an app for brows? I guess you do learn something new every draft.