The Orlando Magic traded center Dwight Howard last week in a deal that had been rumored for months. The Magic say they believe they can contend with their new players “What's his name,” “That one dude,” and “You know, the other guy.”
Calling Jon Lovitz
Villanova assistant men's basketball coach Doug Martin resigned after it was confirmed he falsely claimed on his resume to have played basketball at Wisconsin-Green Bay from 1991-95.
I'm glad this finally came out. I first heard rumblings of this claim while I was playing small forward for the Milwaukee Bucks in 1997, the same year I released my bestseller, “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.”
Gold retrieval
Nadzeya Ostapchuk of Belarus had her Olympic gold medal in shot put stripped after testing positive for the steroid metenolone. Officials became suspicious when people started calling her Mr. Ostapchuk.
Taking the season one No.1 ranking at a time
USC football coach Lane Kiffin says he is surrendering his vote in the USA Today college football coaches poll. Kiffin told reporters last week he wouldn't put USC in the No.1 spot on his ballot, but later USA Today revealed that he did.
Recruits take note: Notre Dame coaches have chosen not to selfishly rank their teams No.1 for at least 19 years.
NCAA washes Cronin's mouth out with soap
The NCAA has publicly reprimanded Cincinnati men's basketball coach Mick Cronin for “profane and abusive language” toward a game official last season. I'm sure the next time an official appears to blow a call, Cronin will remember his reprimand and say, “You probably had a better view of that play, kind sir.”
Johnson runs down-and-out route
Chad Johnson was arrested for allegedly head-butting his wife, then he was cut by the Miami Dolphins, then his reality TV show was canceled. On the bright side, he didn't drop any passes Monday.
