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MARRIAGE DONE RIGHT

Marriage advice: 4 essentials for a solid marriage

Wednesday, October 3, 2012 - 12:01 am

Good relationship skills are the same whether they're used at work or home.

In “Strengths Based Leadership,” Tom Rath and Garry Conchie list four basic relationship needs that business leaders must meet if they want their employees to do their best. Their conclusions are based on a Gallup Poll survey of 10,000 employees over a four-year period.

The primary needs Gallup found are trust, compassion, stability and hope. But marriages also work best when these same four needs are met.

Trust

Trust, which sometimes appears as honesty or integrity, is the foundation of every healthy relationship.

Trust “increases speed and efficiency in the workplace” and does the same in marriage.

The more I can rely on you to do your part, the more I'm freed to do what you're relying on me to do. This saves time and energy for both of us.

Nurturing trust in your marriage starts with being where you say you'll be; following through with things you say you'll do; not “sharing” marital secrets with your friends without prior approval from your spouse; and, of course, being faithful to your spouse.

Compassion

Compassion is another essential for healthy relationships at work and at home.

Employees work better if they believe their supervisor cares for them as a person. Likewise in marriage, spouses work best together if they believe a spouse cares for them.

The business benefits of compassionate supervisors are remarkably similar to what happens in marriage.

Stability

Stability is also necessary both at work and at home. Rath and Conchie report that “the best leaders were the ones employees could always count on in times of need.”

For a marriage to thrive, couples also need a sense of confidence about where their marriage is headed and how it's doing. A stable relationship can make all the difference for couples facing hard financial times.

Hope

We also need hope for the future, both at work and in our marriages. Hope for the future gives meaning to what we're doing.

By working together to build trust, compassion, stability and hope into your marriage, you'll create an environment in which your marriage can operate at top efficiency and be most effective.

2012, All Rights Reserved. James Sheridan’s website is www.marriagedoneright.com. This column is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinion of The News-Sentinel.