1. Falcons. Apparently, I'm the only one who believes winning trumps aesthetics.
2. 49ers. Alex Smith sets a single-game passing record, Harbaugh smirks in satisfaction.
3. Giants. Escape vs. Dallas by the length of Dez Bryant's fingers.
4. Da Bears. The question is: Do you trust Jay Cutler long term?
5. Texans. Buffalo business first, then a big showdown at Chicago.
6. Broncos. Nobody's happier about Manning's health than Papa John's pizza.
7. Packers. Haven't lost since that un”Luck”y day in Indianapolis.
8. Ravens. Fresh off a bye rest and onto Cleveland. Good scheduling.
9. Patriots. They won four of their last five and their QB looks like he knows what he's doing.
10. Dolphins. They're a couple plays from being 6-1. A win at Indy would be huge.
11. Steelers. I'd rank them higher, but subtracted points for the throw-up, I mean throw-back, uniforms.
12. Colts. Don't look now, but Indy has installed a running game.
13. Seahawks. Now on the verge of fading out of the playoff race.
14. Vikings. Ultimately, this team will fade to its destined .500 range.
15. Redskins. A home game with the Panthers ought to put RG3 right back on track.
16. Lions. A win at Jacksonville and Lions are 4-4 and sort of in the race again.
17. Buccaneers. They should change their name to the Tampa Bay Schizophrenics.
18. Raiders. This is a team on the rise. I'm serious. Fear the silver and black.
19. Saints. They lead the league in passing yardage, which means nothing for bottom line.
20. Eagles. Michael Vick's still the QB, Andy Reid the coach. Check back Monday.
21. Jets. We want Tebow! We want Tebow! We want Tebow! Or not.
22. Bills. Tackling is not their strong suit, especially those pesky running backs.
23. Cowboys. What inventive way will they come up with to lose at Atlanta?
24. Browns. The only people happy to see Norv Turner last week.
25. Titans. First Peyton for years, now Andrew Luck? It's not fair, not fair at all.
26. Chargers. They beat the Chiefs, which is like claiming success vs. bye week.
27. Cardinals. This is one lousy 4-4 football team and 4-12 not out of the question.
28. Rams. If you played the Packers and Patriots back to back, you'd need a bye week, too.
29. Bengals. Haven't won a game for a month, and Denver's in town.
30. Jaguars. Another week, another seven days of wondering how they beat the Colts.
31. Panthers. Played better vs. Bears, but can they contain RG3?
32. Chiefs. Maybe not the worst, but they're a pretty good facsimile of it.