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Letter to the editor: Just trying to be a loyal, gunless Democrat

Friday, February 8, 2013 - 12:01 am

I find this timely as weapons are a big issue right now; some may find this comical.

On Jan. 27, I did what my fellow Democrats are asking of me and the rest of my loyal Americans. I loaded up my SUV with all my weapons, two Wammo slingshots, one Daisy BB gun, one Gammo air rifle, two 22 rifles, one shotgun, one blow dart, five kitchen knives, two pocket knives, six handguns, one peashooter, one starter pistol, one staple gun, one Army bayonet, one Army sword, one cap gun, two baseball bats and my prize pistol grip coffee cup.

With reluctance, but compassion for my Democratic Party, I am doing my part as they asked. This morning I took all my weapons down to the Allen County Sheriff’s Department and turned them in. I told them I am doing what a good Democrat should, giving up my weapons. I asked how many Democrats turned in their weapons lately. My fellow Democrats didn’t turn any in.

The sheriff told me to load my stuff back up and take it home; we are Republicans here and believe in the Second Amendment. My gosh, was I relieved. I called the Democratic headquarters and told them what happened, I asked if any of our fellow Democrats turned their weapons in at the headquarters. They said it would behoove me to drive to New York or Chicago and turn them in there or wait till Obama’s new law passes whereas they will pay you for turning in your weapons to none other than the government.

I guess I will wait. Look, I’m only trying to do my part as a loyal Democrat. I just posted a sign in my yard saying my house is gun-free and ask my fellow Democrats to do the same. As a loyal Democrat, I do exactly what the Party tells me. Believe me, I am doing my part. Obama is always right. I will walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil as long as Obama and my fellow Democrats are with me. I will never have use for weapons; I will be protected by my party, forever and ever.

Now, if you believe this I have a Brooklyn Bridge in Arizona to sell you for free. But you do get my point, right?

Ron Dawson