Nothing matters really. This is a movie based on a Hasbro toy, after all — it's all spectacle and bombast. But at least “G.I. Joe” is aware of its vapidity.
That's not to say that this “G.I. Joe” is good, aside from a couple of dazzling action set pieces, but at least it's efficient in its muscular mindlessness.
The elite military team of Joes, now led by Duke (Channing Tatum, returning from the first film), is sent to Pakistan to recover some nuclear weapons. But they find themselves double-crossed by their own government, led by an imposter president, and lose many among their ranks in a massive ambush. The survivors — Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson, reliable as ever), Flint (D.J. Cotrona, who's given no personality) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki, in full makeup for covert ops) — must find out who's running the country and get to the bottom of this villain's dastardly plan.
Turns out it's master of disguise Zartan, part of the enemy group Cobra, who's posing as the president while the real commander in chief is locked up in a bomb shelter. (Jonathan Pryce plays both roles; he's far too qualified for even one of them.) The three Joes realize they need help to bring him down, so they round up the far-flung Snake Eyes (Ray Park), the petite warrior Jinx (Elodie Yung, whose character trains with the Blind Master, RZA) and the reluctant Storm Shadow (Korean superstar Byung-hun Lee, an athletic and elegant specimen).
They track down Willis' Original Joe, Gen. Colton, who provides his own personal gun show. (You'd never know there's a gun control debate in this country from watching this movie. The flip side is, none of the casualties from this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie.)
“Retaliation” initially was scheduled to come out last summer, but the studio pulled it and delayed its release to convert the movie to 3-D. With a director like Jon M. Chu, who's shown a flair for integrating 3-D with the dance extravaganza “Step Up 3D” and the concert film “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never,” why not just shoot it that way in the first place? As it stands now, the extra dimension doesn't add much and often is used in that simplistic, tried-and-true way of flinging things at us from the screen: bullets, throwing stars, etc.
There is one absolutely astounding extended sequence about halfway through, in which two teams of ninjas face off in a battle on the sheer cliff faces of the Himalayas. Using cables and zip lines, it's as if they're running, leaping and practically dancing on walls in the sky — a breathtaking piece of choreography in its own right.
Film review'G.I. Joe Retaliation'
What: This action movie based on Hasbro's G.I. Joe dolls, starring Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis, doesn't take itself too seriously.
Where playing: Carmike-Dupont Road, Carmike-Jefferson Pointe, Carmike-Jefferson Pointe IMAX, Coldwater, Strand Kendallville
Running time: 1 hour, 50 minutes
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality.