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MARINATING A COLUMN BY MIKE MARIN

But wait, there’s more TV gimmicks

Saturday, September 28, 2013 - 9:52 am

Just once I would like to see a paid program that does not use the phrase “But wait!”

It doesn’t matter if they are selling a set of Ginsu steak knives, a grease-free way to cook bacon or a miraculous new weight-loss system (that uses grease-free bacon?); somewhere near the end (or what you thought was the end) of the commercial, the announcer will undoubtedly utter the phrase “But wait!” — usually more than once.

“Yes, this amazing new lint brush/dog hair detangler, worth over $300, can be yours for just five easy payments of $50.

“But wait ... call today and we will make the first payment for you! That’s right, this incredible brush and detangler can be yours for four easy payments of $50.

“But wait ... be one of the first 10,000 people to call within the next two years, and we will double the offer to two thingamabobs worth over $600 for just three easy payments of $50.”

The sad thing is, consumers fall for this shtick.

Well, that’s my column for this week.

But wait, there’s more ...

No joke: I once saw a shopping channel hawking gemstones with an alleged list price (according to them) of $5,000. By the time the barker had gone through his spiel and had factored in all his discounts and special deals, the price had come down to $9.99!

But wait ... no, just kidding. Bye.

P.S. Supplies are limited.

Mike Marin is a cranky curmudgeon who, when hes not yelling at kids to get off his lawn, likes to complain about the sad state of popular culture, especially as seen through a TV screen. His email address is marinating @tribune.com. This column is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinion of The News-Sentinel.