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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.

One day I may become Zsa Zsa

Copyright 2014 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.The Associated Press
Thursday, March 09, 2017 05:01 am
Silence is not golden in my home or auto. Loud noises bother me, but if I do not have some kind of chatter going on via radio, friends or my husband Jim, my mind takes me to very dark places. I visit the places in my mind that hold NO good memories. I need something or someone to pull me back into the present. I re-live all the not-so-good things that have happened to me in my 62 years. I am not sure why my mind is doing this to me. I have dementia, and I know that maybe sometime I will be stuck in a time frame that I will not be able to recover from. I do not want it to be where my mind takes me to lately. If someone is talking to me, I am in the now. I can focus. If I listen to the radio, I try and remember the words to the songs I am hearing. Since I am a newbie to country music, I really have to try hard, and that’s a good thing. I have also made some nice friends at 105.1 radio.

The problem with my memory being stuck has taken a toll on my relationship with Jim. When we are in the car, I want to be engaged in conversation all the time. Jim has difficulty trying to keep me centered and concentrating on heavy traffic. Since I have dementia partly due to an auto accident, I freak out in heavy traffic. This man has his hands full with me. I hope God makes Jim a saint, because in my eyes he already is.

My husband’s way to handle this situation is to turn on the radio, letting me dance in my seat. However, he refuses to dip or twirl me.

I am truly frightened that someday I will wake up and be a nameless person looking in the mirror. If that EVER happens my name will become Zsa Zsa. If I start signing my columns that way,  just know that St. Jim has a real problem with me!

Lots of love and my prayers for you all!

Soon to be Zsa Zsa, but for now Patti A. Hagadorn, novelist-headlining singer and most importantly an Oscar winner! Gotta have a sense of humor in my world.

Patti A. Hagadorn is a resident of Fort Wayne.  


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